So I wrote this piece for a class called "Travel Writing." It is totally fictional, and based on a pseudo-out of body experience I had while in Morocco, and a friends description to me about the time he tried mushrooms. I showed it to my Dad for proofreading, and it made him blush a little bit. It definitely has a sexual side, and uses language that I don't think is to graphic, but who knows. It is up for each person's interpretation. For me it was about faith and understanding, but I won't deny the sexual undertone. So fair warning! Hope you enjoy!
The glittering reflection of the night sky on moving water is a dreamer’s paradise. I gaze at the running abyss, as the cool night air kisses my cheek forcefully. “Something is so surreal about water at night,” I think to myself. Though the creek’s depth only measures up to my ankle, watching the shimmering black glide by makes me feel so small, so humbled. Yet, its murky appearance also leaves me with a sense of hope, reinforcing heavily my belief that life exists far beyond what appears on the surface. What resides beneath that glimmering outer shell? What…
My thoughts are stopped by the feeling of human touch. Her fingers mesh themselves into mine, and I’m awoken from my existential daze. I almost forgot I wasn’t alone on this walk. Perhaps it’s the mix of the intoxicants with the morning’s looming departure, but the added scenery felt as if it was the last ingredient needed in a recipe for an out of body experience. I guess at some point I need to interject to remind her I’m listening.
“ I could just be drunk, but this path, with the trees hanging over the sidewalk, and the creek to our side like guide. Its kind of nice at night,” she said
I guess great minds do think alike, or maybe I truly had met a perfect counterpart. She was always so talented with matching her words to the mood of the moment. Those words, mmm! Those words always meant so much to me.
“That’s funny, I was just having a similar thought,” I said, belittling the semi-spiritual moment the path had rendered me.
She turned and kissed me, like so many times before, but this kiss, unexpectedly, was different. I guess it could be the result of our late night walk, or maybe the alcohol, or even more likely the uncharted venture which the morning will bring, but tears began to fill her eyes. I squeezed her hand a little tighter, kissed her forehead, and continued to bask in the path’s divine trance. This made it easier to neglect the destined encounter with feelings a far.
“You know, this... This is a big deal.” She said, searching for the words to paint her point. “This place is your home. Your family is here. Your friends are here. I…I’m here,” she paused, quickly rekindling her composure. “ Wherever you go, don’t forget that. You’ll always be someone’s brother, son, friend or lover. It all ties back to here.”
I replied with an embrace, since her words had occupied my thoughts. “Home. Ha! That’s a funny concept,” I thought to myself. Maybe this place holds memories and destinations which spark a nostalgic flame, but family? Friends? Love? These things aren’t set in one place, they transcend physical boarders.
Surrounded by a mystic air I responded, “ Maybe these things, this home, you, all my loved ones. Maybe these all are bigger than physical area. Maybe it’s all interconnected. Do you really see this place, these streets, this path, as your home? Or is it that your home is just a sense of belonging, regardless of physical area. You know what they say, home is where the heart is,” I say with a cheesy smile and a nudge to the chest.
She hits me on the arm, but having dealt with my sarcasm for the last year, she’s good at extracting the meaning from what I fail to say. Her eyes find mine, and I continue to rant.
“My tie to this place has never come from the physical area, it comes from the people, or the emotion,” I say with a serious tone. “It comes from things which are only tied to this place because of proximity. Maybe all these things are just reflections of something bigger, like a glimpse of the after life that awaits us. Maybe we are just exiles here on earth, and our real home, well we’ll be reunited with it having left this earth.”
She pushes me against the guardrail, and kisses me with authority. My hand finds the back of her head, and as my fingers slowly inch through her hair, I pull her in closer with my other arm. Our lips stay united as we continue down the path, embracing, tripping over one another, guided by the rail separating us from the black abyss of the creek.
Like clockwork, our unconscious steps turn left at 23rd, forgoing our watery guide, and docking at my house in the middle of the alley. Still engulfed in one another, I feel for my keys, and unlock the door. We make our way up the stairs and into the room on the right, where only a single mattress lay unpacked in a stripped room. She softly kisses my neck, and I feel her delicate fingers make their way up my back and tug my shirt over my head. I spin her so we’re no longer facing and pull her close. As I begin to kiss her neck, my hands follow the lead of her’s, and slowly pull her shirt over her head.
Without reason or warning, my bare room takes on a new form. My already blurred vision begins to resemble the frames of an old black and white movie, and it seems as if all the feeling in the room constricts and embodies only me. I embrace the sensation, yet keep moving in true course.
As we continue down the path of two lovers behind closed doors, my actions begin to take form on their own. I see my arms wrap themselves around her, and our bodies tumble onto the bed, but I’m no longer in control. As if it was a suit of armor, my thoughts, my being, feel as if they are no longer a part of my body at all, but enclosed within. Encompassed in a blanket of warmth, our bodies continue to go through the motions of making love. I can no longer feel my extremities, but they continue to act in the same manor in which I had instructed them. My being slowly constricts into a pulsating ball within my chest, and through clouded vision, I no longer look down at her beneath me, but at both our bodies swaying in beat with one another.
I’m floating, yet fully stable. The awareness I normally possess of my surroundings is blocked by my own essence of being. It engulfs the intangible soul soaring above the two bodies on the bed. I’m hit with a warmth unlike any I’ve ever experienced. It is similar only to that of warm water on skin, yet I have nothing which can be touched, and I feel no wetness. I still watch as my light arms wrap around her dark skin. It seems as if my tangible body has almost become one with her’s. Our bodies continue to sway in one motion, connected and unified.
Without choice or intention, the intangible essence of my being floats higher and higher, leaving the room where our bodies continue to sway. I see my neighborhood appear below me. The world continues to function, and I watch it do so, knowing full well this experience exists far beyond time and space. The rays of light fleeting from cars continue to break through the hold of darkness on the earth, and the drunks continue to stumble down the street.
Like a balloon slipped through the hands of a child, I continue to drift towards the night sky. Though I exist in this tangible universe, my essence is impenetrable to the elements. As I pass into the stars, the warmth continues to surround me. Space seems endless, yet I keep drifting higher and higher, starring with vision blurred by ecstasy; not out of focus, yet lacking clarity.
Though it is indiscernible, it seems like hours have passed since my body lay under me. I continue to float. My soul becomes one with the stars. I no longer feel an extension of myself beyond where I’m floating, yet I know I still exist. At this moment, the stars of the night sky vanish; I’m struck with the sensation of all emotions occurring at once in equilibrium. It’s like feeling nothing. No love. No hate. No fear. But even so, I feel completely satisfied. Want does not exist.
Vision has become obsolete now, with my surroundings matching that of a blank white page, like I’ve run off the director’s reel, but my existence continues. It’s become clear that the sensation of warmth that surrounds me, and the loss of my tangible extension, is the result of becoming one with the maker. Nothing outside of me exists because I’ve become what is outside. I’m part of the earth, of the stars, and the people within. I am the energy which fashions their tangible being. I am He who calls himself I am.
In this state, nothing is known nor unknown. The mysteries of earth don’t concern this existence, because it is here where they are created. As I bask, the forgotten concept of time passes, and with each moment, the intensity of feeling ultimate balance grows stronger, ever stronger...
With the speed of lighting ripping through dark clouds, individual emotions return to me. Immediately, I feel myself wanting. “I never want to stop feeling this. Ever.” I think to myself. And with that thought, descent begins.
Vision once again becomes apparent, and I see the night sky begin to re-form. I sink faster and faster, and the stars become brighter exponentially. The tiny lights of buildings grow larger, and I can see my alley take shape. Cars continue to pass, and the drunks on the street still walk towards their night’s destinations.
As I transcend my roof, the inexplicable warmth begins to fade. I see the two lovers reaching climax; their bodies still in synchronization with one another. I sink lower and lower, and before I can react, I see only one face in front of mine, wearing a look which could resemble either pleasure or pain. As I hurtle into my body, and regain control of my extremities, I feel the sensation of skin on skin, as she lays her hand on my bare chest. Panting and vulnerable, we lay embracing, trying to recover from the experience which has just passed.
Her outstretched arm over my torso grazes my bicep lightly. For a split second, I feel remnants of the unparalleled warmth, and begin to understand the dichotomy of human existence; our souls and our bodies.
As the sensation finally passes, I regain full control of my tangible extension, and like salvaging feeling after extreme cold, my fingers actions are once again are the product of my will. I lay baffled by what I had just felt, until the warmth of her cheek pressed against my chest ties together the meta-physical with the present. Our existence is not a mistake. We are extensions of the energy which created us, and will return to it once our stint on earth has passed. For the will of the creator was to make man, therefore the will of man is the extension of the creator. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Her body begins to tremble, and I pull the comforter over our tangled masses. She continues to shake, but to a lesser extent, and the warmth from her cheek is laced with drops of wetness. I press my lips to the top of her head, then do the same to her ear. Before drifting off to sleep, I whisper, “ I love you,” and, “home will always be here.”