10 Essential Experiences for becoming a Better Human Being

It's no question the internet has more than its fair share of self-help, list style blogs. Apparently, everyone has an opinion...yet common sense seems to be melting away as fast as the polar ice caps. While no one is perfect, there is a distinct air that surrounds those who make a conscience effort to live an examined life. The truth, of course, being that life should be examined daily. The most interesting individuals, or at least those whom seem to live the happiest and healthiest, are the ones willing to progress with each passing day. So why do I think I have the credentials to give advice, then? Is it my world travels and timely man bun? The answer is I don't have any credentials, but I've had a lot of random experiences. I can tell you with full certainly that the following have shaped me much more than others. Not everyone is willing to deviate from a set path, but hopefully some of these can move you as well.

1.) Working in a retail or service industry job - If I were a tyrannical dictator, or I guess an elected official, I would write into law that every person, regardless of race, gender, or socialeconomic status (SES), should work no less than 3 months in some sort of service industry or retail job. Why? Those who haven't still find it OK to undertip (or not tip at all), while verbally abusing those serving them. Working in customer service is hard, under appreciated, and underpaid, but those who do it learn valuable lessons of how to treat others. While it may be a bit easier to treat a jerk nicely while getting paid, you best believe the first time you have someone dig into you for not adhering to their every need sticks with you. These lessons go far beyond your time in this industry.

2.) Working a minimum wage job - In a similar fashion, the only people who think it is a bad idea to raise minimum wage to a livable standard are those who haven't had to live off of it. Minimum wage is supposed to increase with the inflation in cost of living. If you have ever tried to live off of $7.75 an hour or less, even as a single individual, you quickly realize that this money is not reciprocal to the bills associated with living in a developed country.

3.) Leaving a demeaning situation - For some reason humanity has this notion that prevailing through hardship is the most noble thing we can do. While I'm not saying that hard work and perseverance aren't admirable, what I am saying is that there are certain times when throwing in the towel is the right thing to do. It is a judgement call. There is nothing more gratifying than realizing that your current situation is below you, and you deserve far better. If someone or something isn't recognizing your worth, it is OK to take a step back. If you are being underutilized, underpaid, and demeaned on the daily, you need to walk out the door with haste. 

4.) Deciding to act, instead of complaining - We've all been here. You call your parents or best friend on the phone, describing why a certain situation is awful. You even describe the perfect solution, yet, you remain in the same place. While progress is easier discussed than realized, at some point you need to take action, instead of rehashing the same conversation. The result, though difficult, will shape you permanently. 

5.) Using self-propelled transportation - This especially applies to those in a place they've been for a long time. It is amazing the things we overlook while speeding down a busy road. One simple solution to avoiding the monotony trap is to mix things up. Strap on your roller-skates, fix up that old bike, or even wake up an hour earlier and lace up some comfortable sneakers, to try a self-propelled method to some destination you go on a daily basis. It is amazing what facets of the journey will begin to pop out, even if you thought you knew the trip like the back of your hand. Life is about the little things, and once you start to see this as an action instead of a cliche, you will approach each day with gratitude. 

6.) Go on a date with someone outside of your comfort zone - I've caught some flack for this one in the past, so I want to emphasize the word DATE. If you and your DATE decide to do adult things behind closed doors after, that is your choice (defining your own sexuality should probably be on this list as well...). What I'm really encouraging everyone to do is go on an actual, IRL date. This is an ordinary date, but the kicker is who you go with. Choose someone outside of your own race, age range, SES, neighborhood, state, country, ideology, etc. Believe it or not, while what makes people being so different fun is that we are different, it is surprising how much common ground exists between those from different walks of life. Realizing this commonality bridges gaps our society has dictated for far too long. We have so many mediums now to go on dates, why not expand our narrowly chosen internet search ranges and meet someone truly new?

7.) Offer unconditional love, with no expectation of reciprocation - This could be the hardest item on the list (unless, of course, you are a parent. You guys are ballers). Offering unconditional love is not the same as loving a person. When we fall in love, we do it with a person whom we expect to offer that same level of love back to us. We take them on a date, they make us dinner. We buy them flowers, they surprise us with a movie night. While loving actions make the world go round, what we rarely do is show love to another person with no intention of them paying it back. Though mutual gain is really the answer to a lot of society's problems, offering a small token of free, unrestricted love to any person is a task that will change you for the better. 

8.) Being on a losing team, and fighting until the bitter end - Maybe we can't all identify with a sports/competition reference, but I think the sentiment is understood. At some point, everyone will fail. It can be catastrophic or minuscule, but we all "lose," sooner or later. Some of the time, we know its coming. In these situations, instead of jumping ship at the first sign of bad weather, try taking a page from the captain's log; go down with the ship. It sucks, it hurts, it leaves scars, and it is hard to let go, but with it comes an understanding for true devotion. Those who are willing to commit to something so extremely, even if it will fail or fall, will learn the true meaning of passion. 

9.) Meditate - Meditation doesn't mean absconding from everything and sitting in silence under a tree or in a cave, it means adding conscience action to your daily life. While it can be sitting in silence with crossed legs and directed focus, it can also mean concentrating for a few minutes on a sole action. Meditation reminds us how important each moment is. It reminds us how much weight our actions hold. By adding this to your daily life, the amount of appreciation one has for what awaits them when the alarm clock sounds will increase substantially. 

10.) Do something life affirming regularly - It sounds like a big task, but it's not. Really, I swear it's not. This can be as simple as going to a bathroom on a different floor at work, or driving down a different road on your daily commute. All it takes is a conscience decision to do something as a reminder that you have free will. Do you come home each night and sit on the couch? Why not take a late night bike ride? Do you go to the same restaurant or bar each weekend? Why not find a cheap AirBnb in town or city you've never visited? It doesn't have to cost money, and it doesn't even have to be time consuming, it just has to hold the idea that this is the only life we have, and each day, no matter how similar it may be to its predecessor, is unique and filled with opportunity.

Halloween isn't the only time you should wear a costume

Photos courtesy of the Huffington Post, Shift Gig, Mag Child, and Getty images 

I think India has a message for me, but she isn’t going to send it that easily

If you have plans to go to India, it seems that everyone has advice for you. Whether they have visited the country or not, with the duration of their apparent (or lack thereof) journey irrelevant, people want to share their Indian opinion. Advice can be appreciated when going to a completely foreign land, but I’ve realized that for my own journey, I need to take a step back. Other’s opinions on India have started to seep into my trip. I find myself saying things like I should do this or I need to do that. While I don’t want to spend my journey sitting in westernized establishments eating cheeseburgers and pulling up sport stats on working wi-fi (if the broncos make it to the Super Bowl I will be in Denver in a heartbeat!), I do need to be true to my own needs and short comings. I want to have a shanti shanti trip.

                                        

This self-awarness intrigued her. Though fully covered in naturally died silk, she laughed, and the robe appeared to unravel only slightly

Over the last 10 days, India has revealed a few secrets to me; my visit with her is going to revolve widely around my ability to be assertive and self-aware. As a traveler, I don’t like to plan. No, especially on a trip that’s end is determined by how well I can hustle, most days are defined by getting out of the door and allowing the wind to take me where it will. While this tactic has served me well, in India, it is put to the test. Wind isn’t always able to weave through airtight buildings and billions of people. Here, when it does, it can carry outside influence. While I bake in the sun, trying to decipher who is a hustler and who genuinely has interested in me, I’ve found myself thinking about India through the framework of others. It could be the voice of a person speaking India’s praises, with romanticized “anything can happens,” or “how a simple walk on the street can lead to an enchanting moments.” Or, it can be self-conscious tendencies berating my ego with thoughts of what would other travelers, whom I’ve grown to respect and almost immolate, be doing now? Would they hide out on the incredibly pleasant rooftop of their hotel, or would they be down in the thick of it? While I can look at it so many ways it all returns to the fact that India is a unique place and overwhelming. It is much harder travel than I’ve done in some time. It isn’t easy like other destinations in Southeast Asia, and maybe more reflection is needed.

One more step to self-awareness, one more glimpse past the veil

To give some context to my thoughts, since I’ve arrived in Jaipur a few days ago, I’ve been on the move. While Kolkata was more hectic and populated, Jaipur seems more targeted. In only three days time I’ve undoubtedly felt as if every person I’ve met has an agenda. The problem is the agenda is completely clandestine. While other countries it is easy to sift through a person’s intentions, the Indians I’ve meet are harder to crack. This, of course, is based only on the small population of people I’ve meet while wandering through a tourist-oriented city. My bullshit radar has not quite calibrated to the Indian brand, and it seems like it won’t be an easy task. The Indian hustlers are a different breed, whom are able to pry on my many a’ weaknesses. It makes me have to approach my travel from a new angle. This, though, is the nature of the game. The point of travel is to understand and harness the ability to see the world from a new lens.

She giggles again, and the colorful silk slides closer to the floor. Only an inch, but what a beautiful glimpse of dark, smooth, carmel skin.

One miss conception that is easy to live by is an underlying belief we owe somebody something. While I will always feel indebted to my family and close friends, its repayment does not come at the sake of my health or well-being. With India, one thing I’ve found is many of my interactions here, or those that previously regarded its nature, instill feelings of debt to a person, place, or activity. These feeling lead to guilt. I can know that my body needs sleep or quiet, but it will be combated by a feeling of obligation to the street, scrapping for new experiences. It can leave a traveler exhausted and defeated, but this is where my real journey in India truly beings. Being aware of what my body needs, as well as why I’ve come here, as opposed to other’s “best practices,” is of utmost importance. India is a place to discover a new gear in the drive to becoming the person you are, both in the present and the future. The well-oiled vessel is only possible through being aware of your purpose. Once that truth is revealed, one needs only to be assertive to attain it.  Maybe a few chai or lassie stops on the way to take in the beautiful scenery wouldn’t hurt either.

The floor like a snake charmer has the veil in a trance. It continues to fall, slowly, rhythmically. I can now catch the first glimpse of her eye. The first view into her soul.