15 truths you learn when visiting India

I’ve been running amuck in India for a month now, and I’ll be honest, I don’t understand it. As a traveler, I get the appeal of this amazing, bizarre, and difficult place. As a human being, I’m perplexed. The way I oscillate between the happiest person in the world, devouring every second, every smell, and every sight, to wondering what the hell I’m doing here is astounding. Alas, the overall truth remains is that this is India, and the perplexity is the appeal. Here are 15 truths I've learned amongst a mountain of confusion:

1.       On a single street you can see cows, goats, monkeys, camels, elephants, nice cars, tuk tuks, high class hotels, homeless people, street kids, and dead animals. On top of that, you can also step in shit from a number of sources, roll your ankle on unexpected potholes, and/or be run over by any and all of the above.

2.       Even though the Pound and Euro are worth WAY more rupees than the good ole USD, if you say you are from the states, you are going to get a much higher starting price, and most likely ending price, compared to Europeans. Apparently Americans are suckers…or just don’t come to India as much as our friends over the pond.

3.       On the same note, shopkeepers assess starting price based on country of origin and profession (as well as hotel if you tell them the name). Certain professions will definitely invite adding a few extra rupees to the price.

4.       The more ostentatiously you refuse an offer, the more effective this will be…the only kicker is if the hustler thinks it is funny, they may want to hang out all day. 

5.       Money is an issue in India. Especially in places tourists go, expect to talk about money A LOT.

Chai stand on the street

6.       One way to find out if a person wants to be your friend or if they are just trying to sell you something, is to keep going to their store to say hello after refusing to buy. Many shop keepers will still love to chat and drink chai, but those only wanting money will get annoyed. Take that fake friends!

7.       When it rains in big cities, you will not have any place to take refugee beyond a paying establishment or your guest house. All awnings, roofs, bridges, etc. are taken up by those living on the street. While many of the most generous and caring people I’ve met in India have been those on the street, this is their home and their dry space. Family comes first, and if their children are getting wet, your western ass will be out in the cold faster than you can say fir melengay.

8.       Indian yoga is much different than what you learn in the west. While I really don’t know much about the western yoga (or yoga in general) this is what Indians and westerners keep telling me.

9.       A head nod, wag, or shake does not give a definite answer…unless it follows a person taking a picture. This simple shake to the side means, “Photo is done, I hope you enjoy,” and is the only set response I’ve seen attached to a head shake. 

Being mobbed for photos in Ajmer

10.   Agreeing to a photo with one individual or group of Indians in public is kind of like bringing cupcakes to school. If you bring one, you better have enough for the whole class.

11.   It is absolutely OK to push someone out of the way if they are impeding your stride. Also, if you aren’t quick enough to get off the bus, those getting on will not wait. Getting a seat on a busy bus is not a game in India. 

12.   Rajasthani people aren’t too fond of Israelis. Most of the time, Israelis are the butt of their jokes.

13.   Spirituality doesn’t always exist in temples or at holy sites. Very few holy men and women walk around in guru apparel. India is a very spiritual place, but most of the warmth and divinity has been sucked out of many of the places and people tourists will eventually interact with.

14.   If you are a person who focuses more on the negative than the positive, you are going to struggle. The thing is, negative shit happens. It happens a lot and unless you can see the bright colors surrounding the negativity, India will demolish you.

15.  One cannot take things personally, especially in touristy spots. To many of the Indians you’ll encounter while gallivanting around the country, you are a walking, talking, limitless spring of cash. You are a natural resource, and these shinning individuals are looking to capitalize on it. You will be lied to, forcibly directed to wrong places, and cat called on the daily. But just remember, you aren’t special; this brand of Indian does it to everyone who looks like you! As soon as you learn to not take it personally (as well as to not engage those who are hustlers) a huge weight will be lifted off your weary shoulders.

I think India has a message for me, but she isn’t going to send it that easily

If you have plans to go to India, it seems that everyone has advice for you. Whether they have visited the country or not, with the duration of their apparent (or lack thereof) journey irrelevant, people want to share their Indian opinion. Advice can be appreciated when going to a completely foreign land, but I’ve realized that for my own journey, I need to take a step back. Other’s opinions on India have started to seep into my trip. I find myself saying things like I should do this or I need to do that. While I don’t want to spend my journey sitting in westernized establishments eating cheeseburgers and pulling up sport stats on working wi-fi (if the broncos make it to the Super Bowl I will be in Denver in a heartbeat!), I do need to be true to my own needs and short comings. I want to have a shanti shanti trip.

                                        

This self-awarness intrigued her. Though fully covered in naturally died silk, she laughed, and the robe appeared to unravel only slightly

Over the last 10 days, India has revealed a few secrets to me; my visit with her is going to revolve widely around my ability to be assertive and self-aware. As a traveler, I don’t like to plan. No, especially on a trip that’s end is determined by how well I can hustle, most days are defined by getting out of the door and allowing the wind to take me where it will. While this tactic has served me well, in India, it is put to the test. Wind isn’t always able to weave through airtight buildings and billions of people. Here, when it does, it can carry outside influence. While I bake in the sun, trying to decipher who is a hustler and who genuinely has interested in me, I’ve found myself thinking about India through the framework of others. It could be the voice of a person speaking India’s praises, with romanticized “anything can happens,” or “how a simple walk on the street can lead to an enchanting moments.” Or, it can be self-conscious tendencies berating my ego with thoughts of what would other travelers, whom I’ve grown to respect and almost immolate, be doing now? Would they hide out on the incredibly pleasant rooftop of their hotel, or would they be down in the thick of it? While I can look at it so many ways it all returns to the fact that India is a unique place and overwhelming. It is much harder travel than I’ve done in some time. It isn’t easy like other destinations in Southeast Asia, and maybe more reflection is needed.

One more step to self-awareness, one more glimpse past the veil

To give some context to my thoughts, since I’ve arrived in Jaipur a few days ago, I’ve been on the move. While Kolkata was more hectic and populated, Jaipur seems more targeted. In only three days time I’ve undoubtedly felt as if every person I’ve met has an agenda. The problem is the agenda is completely clandestine. While other countries it is easy to sift through a person’s intentions, the Indians I’ve meet are harder to crack. This, of course, is based only on the small population of people I’ve meet while wandering through a tourist-oriented city. My bullshit radar has not quite calibrated to the Indian brand, and it seems like it won’t be an easy task. The Indian hustlers are a different breed, whom are able to pry on my many a’ weaknesses. It makes me have to approach my travel from a new angle. This, though, is the nature of the game. The point of travel is to understand and harness the ability to see the world from a new lens.

She giggles again, and the colorful silk slides closer to the floor. Only an inch, but what a beautiful glimpse of dark, smooth, carmel skin.

One miss conception that is easy to live by is an underlying belief we owe somebody something. While I will always feel indebted to my family and close friends, its repayment does not come at the sake of my health or well-being. With India, one thing I’ve found is many of my interactions here, or those that previously regarded its nature, instill feelings of debt to a person, place, or activity. These feeling lead to guilt. I can know that my body needs sleep or quiet, but it will be combated by a feeling of obligation to the street, scrapping for new experiences. It can leave a traveler exhausted and defeated, but this is where my real journey in India truly beings. Being aware of what my body needs, as well as why I’ve come here, as opposed to other’s “best practices,” is of utmost importance. India is a place to discover a new gear in the drive to becoming the person you are, both in the present and the future. The well-oiled vessel is only possible through being aware of your purpose. Once that truth is revealed, one needs only to be assertive to attain it.  Maybe a few chai or lassie stops on the way to take in the beautiful scenery wouldn’t hurt either.

The floor like a snake charmer has the veil in a trance. It continues to fall, slowly, rhythmically. I can now catch the first glimpse of her eye. The first view into her soul.