10 Essential Experiences for becoming a Better Human Being

It's no question the internet has more than its fair share of self-help, list style blogs. Apparently, everyone has an opinion...yet common sense seems to be melting away as fast as the polar ice caps. While no one is perfect, there is a distinct air that surrounds those who make a conscience effort to live an examined life. The truth, of course, being that life should be examined daily. The most interesting individuals, or at least those whom seem to live the happiest and healthiest, are the ones willing to progress with each passing day. So why do I think I have the credentials to give advice, then? Is it my world travels and timely man bun? The answer is I don't have any credentials, but I've had a lot of random experiences. I can tell you with full certainly that the following have shaped me much more than others. Not everyone is willing to deviate from a set path, but hopefully some of these can move you as well.

1.) Working in a retail or service industry job - If I were a tyrannical dictator, or I guess an elected official, I would write into law that every person, regardless of race, gender, or socialeconomic status (SES), should work no less than 3 months in some sort of service industry or retail job. Why? Those who haven't still find it OK to undertip (or not tip at all), while verbally abusing those serving them. Working in customer service is hard, under appreciated, and underpaid, but those who do it learn valuable lessons of how to treat others. While it may be a bit easier to treat a jerk nicely while getting paid, you best believe the first time you have someone dig into you for not adhering to their every need sticks with you. These lessons go far beyond your time in this industry.

2.) Working a minimum wage job - In a similar fashion, the only people who think it is a bad idea to raise minimum wage to a livable standard are those who haven't had to live off of it. Minimum wage is supposed to increase with the inflation in cost of living. If you have ever tried to live off of $7.75 an hour or less, even as a single individual, you quickly realize that this money is not reciprocal to the bills associated with living in a developed country.

3.) Leaving a demeaning situation - For some reason humanity has this notion that prevailing through hardship is the most noble thing we can do. While I'm not saying that hard work and perseverance aren't admirable, what I am saying is that there are certain times when throwing in the towel is the right thing to do. It is a judgement call. There is nothing more gratifying than realizing that your current situation is below you, and you deserve far better. If someone or something isn't recognizing your worth, it is OK to take a step back. If you are being underutilized, underpaid, and demeaned on the daily, you need to walk out the door with haste. 

4.) Deciding to act, instead of complaining - We've all been here. You call your parents or best friend on the phone, describing why a certain situation is awful. You even describe the perfect solution, yet, you remain in the same place. While progress is easier discussed than realized, at some point you need to take action, instead of rehashing the same conversation. The result, though difficult, will shape you permanently. 

5.) Using self-propelled transportation - This especially applies to those in a place they've been for a long time. It is amazing the things we overlook while speeding down a busy road. One simple solution to avoiding the monotony trap is to mix things up. Strap on your roller-skates, fix up that old bike, or even wake up an hour earlier and lace up some comfortable sneakers, to try a self-propelled method to some destination you go on a daily basis. It is amazing what facets of the journey will begin to pop out, even if you thought you knew the trip like the back of your hand. Life is about the little things, and once you start to see this as an action instead of a cliche, you will approach each day with gratitude. 

6.) Go on a date with someone outside of your comfort zone - I've caught some flack for this one in the past, so I want to emphasize the word DATE. If you and your DATE decide to do adult things behind closed doors after, that is your choice (defining your own sexuality should probably be on this list as well...). What I'm really encouraging everyone to do is go on an actual, IRL date. This is an ordinary date, but the kicker is who you go with. Choose someone outside of your own race, age range, SES, neighborhood, state, country, ideology, etc. Believe it or not, while what makes people being so different fun is that we are different, it is surprising how much common ground exists between those from different walks of life. Realizing this commonality bridges gaps our society has dictated for far too long. We have so many mediums now to go on dates, why not expand our narrowly chosen internet search ranges and meet someone truly new?

7.) Offer unconditional love, with no expectation of reciprocation - This could be the hardest item on the list (unless, of course, you are a parent. You guys are ballers). Offering unconditional love is not the same as loving a person. When we fall in love, we do it with a person whom we expect to offer that same level of love back to us. We take them on a date, they make us dinner. We buy them flowers, they surprise us with a movie night. While loving actions make the world go round, what we rarely do is show love to another person with no intention of them paying it back. Though mutual gain is really the answer to a lot of society's problems, offering a small token of free, unrestricted love to any person is a task that will change you for the better. 

8.) Being on a losing team, and fighting until the bitter end - Maybe we can't all identify with a sports/competition reference, but I think the sentiment is understood. At some point, everyone will fail. It can be catastrophic or minuscule, but we all "lose," sooner or later. Some of the time, we know its coming. In these situations, instead of jumping ship at the first sign of bad weather, try taking a page from the captain's log; go down with the ship. It sucks, it hurts, it leaves scars, and it is hard to let go, but with it comes an understanding for true devotion. Those who are willing to commit to something so extremely, even if it will fail or fall, will learn the true meaning of passion. 

9.) Meditate - Meditation doesn't mean absconding from everything and sitting in silence under a tree or in a cave, it means adding conscience action to your daily life. While it can be sitting in silence with crossed legs and directed focus, it can also mean concentrating for a few minutes on a sole action. Meditation reminds us how important each moment is. It reminds us how much weight our actions hold. By adding this to your daily life, the amount of appreciation one has for what awaits them when the alarm clock sounds will increase substantially. 

10.) Do something life affirming regularly - It sounds like a big task, but it's not. Really, I swear it's not. This can be as simple as going to a bathroom on a different floor at work, or driving down a different road on your daily commute. All it takes is a conscience decision to do something as a reminder that you have free will. Do you come home each night and sit on the couch? Why not take a late night bike ride? Do you go to the same restaurant or bar each weekend? Why not find a cheap AirBnb in town or city you've never visited? It doesn't have to cost money, and it doesn't even have to be time consuming, it just has to hold the idea that this is the only life we have, and each day, no matter how similar it may be to its predecessor, is unique and filled with opportunity.

Halloween isn't the only time you should wear a costume

Photos courtesy of the Huffington Post, Shift Gig, Mag Child, and Getty images 

Meditation isn’t Just for Hippies, and Doesn’t Need to Cut into your Precious Free Time

Meditation is an interesting word. While its definition seems pretty straight forward, what it evokes in people differs greatly one to the other. In fact, if you asked your closest friends and family, you would most likely receive some starkly different responses. Though the idea of meditating may seem to some as 20 minutes of boredom, or even wasted time, what acceptance of this word can do is outstanding. 

One doesn’t need to go on a lavish retreat in a foreign country, or seek out a guru, to learn about the benefits of meditation. All you really need is a few moments of concentration, a little creativity, and the desire to learn a new tool. Meditation isn’t about sitting alone, cross-legged, in a dark room with candles and incense, it is about mindfulness. It’s about bringing focus and acceptance to daily tasks. While we all have to-do lists containing less desirable boxes to check off, being able to go about this in a mindful way can actually make the menial more meaningful; it just takes a different approach than what we are used to.

With a simple Google search, one is able to pick up easy tips on what it is to meditate. According to the Buddhism About page, meditation is the amalgamate of 4 simple steps: 

1. Mindfulness of Body

2. Mindfulness of Feelings

3.) Mindfulness of Mind

4.) Mindfulness of Dharma

So how does this apply to your daily life? Here is an example of how one can mix meditation with something we all do each day; eating...

Mindfulness of Body - To be mindful of the body means to be aware of what's happening in you. In a meditation class, attendees will sit and begin to bring focus to their breath. This can include bringing awareness to breathing into the chest or stomach, how long their inhale (in a relative count) is vs. their exhale, as well as what areas of the body are working, relaxed, stuck, or achy. In daily life, when you sit down at your chosen space to eat, focus on your breath for maybe 30 seconds or minute, while concentrating on how it works with your body in the position which you normally eat. This prepares you to eat meditatively, bringing attention to your entire being.

Mindfulness of Feeling - While this can (and should) include what emotions become apparent during the action, what feeling means is literally how the activity works with the senses. Instead of eating while watching TV, reading, or even having conversation, try taking a few moments to engage with your food before scarfing it down. It may be weird not to use utensils, but try feeling your food, exploring the texture or temperature, smelling it, and getting a good visual image before actually taking a bite. While chewing, see how that texture feels in your mouth. Listen to the noises the food makes. See if you can still catch wafts of the food's scent. These small steps take only a few moments, but help you engage with your food, tasting it in a way we oft experience. 

Mindfulness of Mind - As simple as this sounds, this may be the hardest step. As what is off putting for many mediation objectors, this is the step where you try and clear your head. In our society, letting the mind rest isn’t easy. The harder we try, the more thoughts flood in. Instead of combating the deluge, what this step means is being aware of what is happening upstairs while you eat. Are you drifting somewhere? Instead of letting your mind engage with this thought, see what that thought is. Recognize you had a thought, maybe label if it is a thought of the future, commitments, or even a fear you have, then bring your focus back to the information the senses are feeding you about your meal. The mind drifts, but it doesn’t need to ruin concentration. By realizing you are drifting, acknowledging it, and returning to the task at hand, you continue to concentrate, continuing your mindfulness practice. This may happen one time or 50 times, but as long as your focus returns to eating, you are still meditating.

Mindfulness of Dharma - While Dharma is a debate in itself, for all intents and purposes for this activity, mindfulness of dharma means being aware of your intention and being gracious. Why are you eating? Is it for nourishment? Are you bored? Are you stress eating? Whatever the reason you are indulging in a meal, learn that reason, keep it at the forefront of the activity, and be thankful for the food in your hand. 

By approaching a daily task such as eating, exercising, or cleaning, in this fashion, a busy person can incorporate mindfulness and mediation into their daily lives. Be it 5 minutes or 15, with these steps you will gain a level of concentration and focus that seemed to disappear with the introduction of iPhones. It may not come the first try, but with a little imagination and desire to make a less-desirable task more palatable, these practices can be applied nearly anywhere throughout the day. 

People can’t be forced to become more mindful. If meditation isn’t your thing, it isn’t your thing. For those who are ready to increase focus and bring about a more conscious approach to day-to-day life, adding small increments of meditation to your day will do wonders. While it does take practice, creation of a mindful habits will increase concentration, efficacy, and overall enjoyment that will be seen day-in, day-out.  



Photos courtesy of the Guardian, Memecenter, and Connect113