Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Thursday, April 14, 2016

1/8: Revisiting the Waters that Last Saw my Uncle's Face



On Airlie Beach in northern Queensland, Australia, life is normally very calm. The weather is fantastic (save for monsoon season), and the beaches are beautiful. While most visitors use this area as a jump off point to visit the remarkable Whitsunday Islands, my visit packed a different purpose. In fact, though my Dad and I found ourselves enjoying all the area had to offer, the reason we decided to visit Airlie was seemingly different than our backpacking and vacationing counterparts. Our mission was to pay tribute to an uncle I never knew. Our purpose was to try and understand more what happened to him and his fellow, fallen classmates aboard their Whaler style sailboat on October 17th, 1963. 

To give a small explanation of our history, my Uncle was lost at sea during a non-conflict, sailing exercise for the Australian Navy in the 60’s. His ship, which consisted of himself, 3 naval academy graduates from his class, as well as an officer, lost course while navigating around Hook Island in northern Queensland. Two bodies (not my uncle) and the ship were found 4 days after the accident, but the remaining three were never found. 12 days after the incident, a life vest and non-floating naval torch were found 93 miles west of Hook Island on Cape Bowling Green. Beyond speculation, no clear-cut explanation was given to the families of the boys. To say that our desire to visit Airlie Beach was purely for fun would definitely be an understatement. 

In both an act of tribute, as well as to gain a better understanding of what Peter and his fellow midshipmen faced, Dam Dog and I sailed from Abell Marina through the Whitsunday Passage, and up through Hook Passage, along the same line that last saw Peter and the Whaler before they were lost at sea. Here is my journal entry after returning from our 12-hour excursion on the water...

4/14- Yesterday was a truly impactful day for Dam dog and I. We hopped on a sailboat from Abell Marina, which traveled through Whitsundays Passage, up through Hook Passage, all the way to Whitehaven Beach. While actual time spent sailing, as opposed to using the onboard motor, was minuscule, and we were on a tourist boat, yesterday was far from a walk in the park. The open water after Hook Passage was where the Whaler began to go off course. So, as history tells it, once the ship passed through the protected passage, meeting open water with Hook Island to its port, the Whaler was flying. The crew was trying to cut further away from shore to offset the counter tides running towards land. This decision, only to be exacerbated by overlooked weather reports and mast-high waves, was a fatal one. Once the passage was run, the open water became an unrelenting yolk which never released.  Navigating this area, though controlled to the fullest human extent, was uncanny for me. With inclimate weather greeting us, I was terrified. I became drenched in rain, sea water, and thoughts of what had elapsed to my family in these parts. I saw unfortunate poetic justice in my father flying halfway around the world to finally visit where his brother was lost, only to meet the same fate. Myself, artistic collateral damage as barring my uncle’s namesake (Christopher Peter). Of course, though, we made it. Our captain and his underpaid, overqualified whipping boy (a 36-year-old vagabond who sailed here growing up, only to find his hours were now considered redundant), made it possible. 

As we hit the open water, in contrast to the Whaler, we felt a calm come over us. As if God had written the screenplay, once we navigated through the passage, the winds died down, and the clouds opened ever so slightly, reuniting us with a glimmer of the sun’s warm embrace. Seeing this area of historical importance to our family; feeling, to a small extent, what Peter felt on board his ship that fell to the will of the erratic weather; seeing my dad try to process what happened here, pondering how this incredibly beautiful, lush, colorful part of the globe, in conjunction with executive negligence and naive over-zealousness, could absolutely change the course of our family’s history: the entire experience was stimulating and draining.



After the passage, the rest of the day teetered and tottered between fun and fear. We held on white-knuckle to the boat as the rains and winds met us quickly, only to dissipate slowly, smoothly. We used our time as we snorkeled and saw one of the most pristine beaches my eyes have ever rested upon, to digest what we had experienced.


The climax, of course, was navigating the final squall, only a few knots away from shore. The rains and winds were heaviest with this one. At first it felt angry. The work of a long, dormant spirit now disturbed from it’s perennial rest. The rain came fast and strong as the wind howled, bringing along with it clouds obscuring any view of the surrounding land. As night had already fallen, the lights from our not-to-distant fruition in Airlie’s welcoming shore disappeared. In this chaos, though, the storm transmuted from anger to what felt like tears falling from the heavens. The first drops were that of sadness, of reawaking to a fate one would hope was a bad dream. Then came those of acceptance. Joy followed. The final droplets where of release. No artistic license was needed to doctor the ending of this story, as the torrential weather elapsed when we made it to harbor. My father and I decide to walk back to our hotel, while the other guests on board, whom didn’t have the same ties we did to Hook Island, stormed off deck exhausted. Some were sore, some angry, some swore off sailing forever. Our itinerary boasted an easy 8 hours, backed with clear skys, sun, and beautiful beachers. After a tumultuous 12-hour affair, who could really blame them?

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Pursue your passion and the money will follow



As a kid, my dad instilled in me his belief “...If you pursue your passions, the money will follow.” At the time, I’m assuming around the middle part of high school, I’m pretty sure my passion vacillated between competitive running and playing punk rock. I also wasn’t quick witted enough to reply with a snarky comment about how weird it was his passion was to stick his hands in people’s mouths, instilling fear and Administering pain (jk Dad! I appreciate the life you provided for our family with your passion). But truth be told, from this message, I always assumed that if I continued to pursue my passion, some form of a career would magically appear. Now, at the tender age of 28 and realizing that career may not be part of my vernacular, It appears that my Dad’s advice is just as relevant as it was in my early teens. The difference, now, being a realization of a perviously narrowed perspective. 


As of current, I am a writer in training, a youth athletics coach, a Lyft driver, and beginning to guide high school youth on trips abroad. Do I have a penchant for working with youth of all ages? Absolutely. Do I have a penchant for driving people from one destination to the next? No, simply put, but I do love being able to strip people of their guard, resulting in intriguing conversation between two parties that otherwise would have probably not met. Oh, I also believe in people not driving fucked up, so that’s on the table too. If you asked me today what my passions are, I would tell you that writing, travel, education, community building, and growth are at the top of the list. Am I working in these fields? Eh, that is a spot of debate. Does my dad's advice still resinate with me, even though I’m about as far away from a career as I am from being a being a father of four in the suburbs? My answer would be a whole hearted yes.


While I may never have a stable job (or maybe I will, who knows?), I can tell you in the last half-decade I have once again found myself in pursuit of my passions. To say I wasn’t doing this before wouldn’t be entirely true, but the difference, once again, is perspective. In our currenty society, I feel as if we are extremely polarized in almost every aspect. Disseminating from the top down, beyond just politics, it seems so easy for all of us to fall into a dualistic point of view. You are right or your are wrong. Things are black or white. People are boys or girls. You are gay or straight. We think this way because it has been dictated in our society forever, yet it is so simplistic. While many ancient societies preach an idea of dualism, it isn’t to believe that you are on one end of a paradigm or the other, it is to present a spectrum. It is to show you that every living being has aspects of both sides, and that instead of being shuffled to either of the opposing points, we need to find balance for ourselves somewhere in between. 


As an illustration, while driving Lyft I picked up a man who, to be blunt, was having a shitty day. He was well dressed, had a stylish haircut, and had been locked out of his house after a really rough day at wherever he may work. I tried to make conversation, but it didn’t amount to much. We let conversation attempts rest for a few moments, while bathing in the wake of the Tallest Man on Earth’s new album. The mutual love of a Swedish folk singer penetrated the gap between two unknown people, leading to a conversation about mutual interest in music. It also unearthed the truth that this guy was formally the frontman in a punk rock group, who now had chosen to domestic himself. While his band never was lucrative, he spoke of his time on tour with a naked nostalgia. Did he want to live in a van with 4 other guys and a drum set forever? Maybe not, but he also wasn't entirely opposed to another round or two of touring. When he said how this experience will forever taint the more traditional way of life he posses now, however, you could feel the backing veracity. The polarized jump from free wheeling to fenced in left him in a difficult spot.


Experience and growth give us perspective. Even the idea of growth has changed since I initially came in contact with it. I know now the only way my 5’8 (on a good day) stature will change is when I inevitably start to shrink. Seeing growth as physical is all but a thing of the past.. Now, I see growth in regards to things like happiness and physical well-being. Growth is no longer a tangible measurement, it can no longer be measured in feet, inches, or centimeters. It is measured only by our actions, our accomplishments, and our perceptions of the world around us.

For me, staving off polarized perspectives is realizing that my dreams to play music as a kid should never die. I may not be ready to jump in a van in an attempt to sell the emo songs I wrote at 16, but I also am not willing to discount my unwavering love for music, songwriting, and jobs that allow me to tour. Will my wrtiting be turned into a monetary venture? Who knows, but without it, my life would be extraordinarily different. So in regards to my father’s words, I still hold them as truth. The only differece, now, is a broader perspective.


Photo courtesy of author